Daily Blog Day 32 -- Didn't quite pull an all-nighter

Good morning friends! The past few days have been such a stark contrast to the rest of this semester. Before now, I was consistently in bed by 10pm, meditating twice a day, exercising regularly, and just generally taking great care of myself. Almost all of that has gone out the window and I'm very eager to return to it. Living in such an unregulated, unbalanced way is not fun. That said, this has been a fantastic learning experience and just another testament to the importance of maintaining daily practices to regulate my mind and body. I've still leaned on these practices throughout this hectic period, just with less conviction. I don't know how I would have survived without them. 

Early yesterday I went to the library to work on my paper and by the time I came home for lunch, I was all over the place; luckily I had the wherewithal to lie down and do a few rounds of Wim Hof breathing to cultivate some peace. It was incredible how dramatically I changed my mental state in just 10ish minutes... by the end, I was literally laughing! Even after that and many other experiences like it, it's still a challenge sometimes to engage in these behaviors that I know are good for me. But alas, it is a constant practice and I'll never be perfect and that's perfectly okay :)

As for my paper, I'm almost done... haha. At times I find myself in a great flow but those are often outnumbered by periods of total brain block. Like I said earlier, this has been a great learning experience; I've identified some strategies that help me think/write better and I realized the huge amount of work that goes into writing a paper like this. Though I think it's far from perfect and I wish I had more time, I'm proud of what I have come up with. 

In the past, I've procrastinated to the point where I had to cram pretty hard and ended up doing a decent job, but was rarely happy with the quality -- I always knew I could have and should have done better. This time is different, though because I didn't procrastinate, I simply didn't think it would be this much of a grind. So although it could be better, I think I can confidently say that I've done the best that I can... if that makes sense.

I planned to stay up all night to finish the paper but by midnight my brain was fried and my willpower was depleted. I went to sleep for a bit and then got back to work around 2am. Now I'm gonna let my brain recover with another nap before I finish this thing!!

😁