I think the way in which I spend the next 24 hours is going to have a big impact on me. Like I mentioned yesterday, I'm writing this research paper on mindfulness and its really kicking my butt. I've never completed such a comprehensive, intense paper and thus gravely underestimated the time and effort it would take. I have about six pages to write by 12pm tomorrow and that's just that. There are no if ands or buts about it.
At the Vipassana retreat in January I wanted to quit and run away on many occasions but I didn't. I faced the discomfort and wrestled with it. Now I find myself in a very similar position. I could totally blow up my last semester of college and fail to graduate on time if I run away now. I'm doing my best to remain present and avoid wishing things were different; it's only painful when I get stuck feeling sorry for myself repeating, "if only..." Otherwise, I can view it for what it actually is: an opportunity for learning and to do my best even if that doesn't look like what I thought it would.
Thanks for reading another edition of "Hayden self-therapy"!
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